Last Saturday, as I sat watching Troubletron and his friends play soccer in the rain (stupid for a group of grown men), I turned on one of the playlists on my iPod and stared at drops of rain hitting puddles of mud-water. I glanced up occasionally to make sure Troubletron hadn't slipped and broken his arm, rendering himself unable to work, and sealing our fate of poverty. He says I worry too much.
As I sat, I began to notice the intoxicating scent of the grass and the freshness of the falling rain. That's right. I had a nature moment. They don't happen very often for me, as I am clearly indoorsy, but it happened. That must be what Jess feels when she goes hiking and that's why she does it everyday. So, while I was having this moment of un-worry-ridden-peace, the words from the song playing on my iPod, a song I'd heard 100 times before, suddenly rang out loudly.
"It may be years until the day, my dreams will match up with my pay." (From Mushaboom by Feist)
And then, as if I hadn't had enough "moments" for the day, I had a high school music moment. You know, the kind you had in high school when you were so misunderstood by the world, and then you were listening to whatever kind of music you like to listen to while laying on your bed staring at the ceiling--and then whatever the lyrics of the song you were listening to were, they really made you feel like that song was written about YOU, and then you didn't feel quite so misunderstood anymore?
That feeling of true understanding poured over me as the song progressed, describing how the singer learned to appreciate all the little things in her life, while working toward a bigger, better goal.
If you are puking from the tenderness right now, don't worry. I spent the whole ride home from soccer like usual: feeling sorry for myself and complaining about my chronic back pain.
I keep thinking about my "moments" though. And, I now worry that I'm spending too much time worrying and not enough time just enjoying my life as it now exists.
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3 Robot Reactions:
Wow. Unusually thoughtful or, as you put it, "tender", for one of your blog posts. I totally know how you feel though.
I didn't have any high school moments until I was almost done with high school, though this is largely related to the fact that I wasn't really listening to any music with lyrics until the end of my senior year, so... you know.
So I'm not sure how you're gonna take this, but I love the tender you and I feel like I'm getting it a lot more frequently these days! I loved this post and now all I wanna do is go home and listen to Mushaboom. Hang in there... seems like the moment we let go of the control we're trying to have in our life is the moment it all of a sudden starts working out for us. At least, that's the way it's been for me. Loves.
misty eyes! o.k. not really but i love you had a nature moment! yip yip! i'm glad that song spoke to you...i miss those moments. sorry my hopeful wish didn't come true... they got your name though... love your guts!
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