March 23, 2010

Making your children jealous

Last weekend, when Teenbot and Littletron were scheduled to spend the weekend with us, Teenbot's friend had a "very important" volleyball event, to which Teenbot "really needed" to go to show her friend "support."  Troubletron does not often grant such requests, since he misses and loves his children and looks forward to seeing them every other weekend.  You can imagine, I'm sure.  But, Teenbot promised this would be a one-time thing, and begged and pleaded, and Troubletron finally gave in.  So, we just had Littletron last weekend.

We did what any parent would do in this one-child situation: everything we could to make Teenbot jealous.  This was primarily accomplished here:

I know what you locals are thinking.

"Landmark Mall?  NO ONE would be jealous of you going there.  Half the stores there are closed down or empty. That mall is only good for one thing: going to Chic-fil-a."  And, ordinarily, you'd be correct.  But this is no ordinary week at Landmark.
Landmark was hosting a fair.

I can't resist a fair.  The lights, the corndogs, the cheap prizes, the cotton candy, the loud music, and the carnies--OH THE CARNIES--I love it all!

Unfortunately, the feeling is not mutual.

Fairs hate me and my broken back.  They taunt and tease me with their shiny lights and nostalgic rides that they KNOW I can't ride.

But, I refuse to let it ruin my fun.

We started off our day on "The Himalaya," a ride I definitely shouldn't have ridden, but did.
Then, the boys did bumper cars . . . I was smart enough to sit out, desiring to be able to walk for the rest of the day.

Littletron is out for blood:
Actually, that is just his concentration face (tongue out, and all).  He really preferred to just drive the car around and avoid other cars.
Next up, the "Taz" swing.
Then the Tilt-a-whirl
That picture was taken while the T-a-W was in motion.  And, this one is Littletron lecturing me about the dangers of taking pictures while the ride is in motion.
Littletron did the giant slide in a potato sack (I can't believe people pay $3 to do this slide).

Then, we stepped into the fun house.

Obligatory mirror pictures:
Here is what Troubletron and I would look like as Little People:
Ferris wheel:
Inside the giant, spinning bears (not sure what this pose is all about):
Merry-go-round (run by a female CARNIE!)
In that picture, you can see one of the other things that hates me (besides fairs): THE SUN.  Even though I applied 70 spf sunscreen, my shoulders and forehead were already burning.

Littletron, surprisingly, loved the "Starship" more than all the other rides.
He rode twice in a row.  I could only handle one time.

And, finally, we braved the food lines to enjoy a funnel cake, evidenced by the powdered sugar all over my skirt:

So, TAKE THAT, Teenbot!

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March 22, 2010

Spring Socce . . .er . . . Football

For our family, the year's onset of warmth equals the start of half a year of dragging ourselves to elementary schools, churchyards, and rec centers all over Northern Virginia to watch Troubletron and his friends play real football.
 Every weekend, it's the same.

Troubletron dominates the assembled group.
And, we, as a family, support him.
. . . with our FULL attention.
Well, at least, we try.
Though, sometimes, distractions creep in.
Yeah, I play "easy" sudoku.  So what?  I don't think logic "games" should make me feel bad about myself.

So begins our spring/summer/fall weekend obligation.
("Why isn't Littletron playing?" you may ask, seeing that there are children on the field.  Well, physical activity isn't really Littletron's thing . . . yet.)
("Why aren't you playing?" you may ask, seeing a varied group of men, women, and children on the field.  Well, my back is currently broken.  Also, I don't really know how to play . . .).

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March 18, 2010


I didn't wear green yesterday, because now that I'm a lawyer, I'm really only allowed to wear black.  Maybe gray.  But definitely not green.  And, anyway, I'm tired of the Irish telling me what I can and cannot do.

Nobody pinched me though--I guess because we're grown-ups now.  And, also because that's battery.  Lawyers know that.

March 17, 2010

One Day to Rule Them All

On Sunday last, the fourteen day of March in the second year of Obama, four companions set out from Rivendell Falls Church to accomplish a seemingly undoable task:

to watch all three Lord of the Rings EXTENDED CUT movies in a 24 hour period.
(nerd alert)
Everyone got very comfortable.  A little too comfortable.

We were even joined by our own tiny "eagle."  We tried to teach Beaker to save us from the tops of towers where we've been trapped by an evil wizard.

To add to our enjoyment of the films, we created a Lord of the Rings themed menu to take us through the day.

We started off with bacon and sausages in The Shire.
And, of course, the Shirelings' favorite side dish, taters ("PO-TA-TOES.  Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a shtew.")
Though we did not have pints, we enjoyed many varieties of "ale" including cream sodas, ginger ale, and root beer.

We had apples on hand, for "second breakfast," like the hobbits ate while walking with Strider, before the Witch King stabbed Frodo with a Morgul blade on Weathertop.

We enjoyed some "salted pork," like Merry and Pippen found at Isengard, after the Ents took control.

We even tasted some "manflesh" like the Uruk-hai wished they could have while transporting the two hobbits back to Isengard.

We figured, "yeah, why can't we have some meats?"
(No men or women were injured to get this "manflesh," but a cow was . . . I assume)

The manflesh was prepared by Jennbot, who was our only Lord of the Rings novice.
To sustain us on our long journey, we also enjoyed some lembas bread (just one small bite can fill the stomach of a grown man).
How many did Idiocorb eat?  Many.

And, then, we prepared the traditional Tolkien Banana Pudding.

Of course it's in the movies.

Shut up.

At 11 p.m. on Sunday evening, we were all so full of food and tired from not moving all day, that we sort of wanted to die.  But, it was glorious.

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March 12, 2010

Rough Week

Monday: Sparklebot somehow throws out her back (exacerbates 15 year old back injury), and is unable to walk.

Tuesday: Stalker harrassment

Wednesday: Violent stomach virus causes Sparklebot to vomit (and more too embarrassing to mention online) for 28 hours.

Thursday: Aunt and her mom get in horrible car accident.

Friday:  . . . I'm just waiting.  Anything could happen.

Today on BotTron Photo
I'll post something, probably

March 9, 2010

Comment Moderation: I owe you an explanation

As many of my loyal readers know, I had a blog as a single woman that was pretty successful.  My readership numbers often numbered around 800 per day (which, I thought was pretty decent)--way better than our readership here on our family blog.  As that blog grew, I gained many "fans," but also many haters.

I found out, as all bloggers eventually do, that there exists a certain kind of person out there in cyberville that decides seemingly arbitrarily that they don't like you, and they make a mission out of trying to hurt you through mean comments.  What this type of person doesn't understand is that I find those comments to be quite hilarious.  So, I often let that sort of thing go on--even encouraged it at points--for long periods of time on that blog.

It became less hilarious to me, however, just over a year ago when one of my blog haters moved from hater-town to stalker-burg.  This stalker was not only obsessed with me, but also with Troubletron.  I don't know who this person is, but I believe her to be be someone we know personally--making her behavior even more pathetic, in my opinion.

This person sent me so many harassing emails, threatening to physically hurt me, that I started to get the police involved.  She created a fake myspace page in my name over a year ago that I STILL haven't been able to get myspace to remove--the page includes photos of me, and a bunch of nonsensical text (including the tidbit that fake Sparklebot is Native American!).  She even calls the children on their cell phones sometimes.

Troubletron and I have been under the assumption that if we just ignore her, she will eventually give up and stop.  But, a year later, she has not.  And, she has begun commenting on this blog with some very ridiculous and annoying comments.

So, I've turned on comment moderation.

I hate comment moderation.  But, I am not going to let this woman push me around anymore.  She is not going to post libelous information on my blog comment section and have me just let it go.

I'm finished with this nonsense.

So, for those of you who are NOT psycho stalkers, your comments will be approved immediately.  Even if you disagree with me.  Even if I don't like what you say.  I'm not moderating to keep out other opinions besides my own.  I'm moderating to keep a psychotic stalker from being able to openly threaten the safety of my family.

Celebrate Good Times

Troubletron's family threw us an extra special First Anniversary party on Sunday, to honor our special day.

We re-enacted--well, we never did it the first time, so just enacted, I guess--the cake-cutting that WOULD have taken place if we had had a wedding.
But, there was no shoving cake in anyone's face.

That's just bad taste.

Troubletron's whole family gathered, to celebrate our special day with games (they are beginning to learn how I roll).
So, we played charades.  But, not the real way.  We made the mistake of letting the two 14 year-olds come up with an entire bowl of clues that the rest of us had to act out.  Huge mistake.

Some of us had to act out "texting."  Others of us had to act out "Bill Nye the Science Guy."
Everyone looked silly.

(Our team won, of course!)

After the party, the kids stayed behind and Troubletron and I got to go out to dinner and a movie alone!
Thanks to the Trons for giving us a great anniversary!

(Thanks to my hair for NOTHING.  I need a cut so bad.)
(There were more pictures of us cutting the cake, and other tender moments.  Unfortunately, we gave our camera to the 9 year-old photographer.  Not that she didn't do an excellent job--she did.  But, she is so short, that all the photos are from the WORST POSSIBLE ANGLE, making both Troubletron and I look like we are 40 lbs heavier than we actually are.  That's not how I want you to think of us on our anniversary.  Ok, fine, maybe that's not how I want to think of myself on my anniversary.  Whatever the case, I filtered, and now you know it.)

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March 8, 2010


It's never to early to start teaching your young boys to Man-scape.
Don't tell Littletron I posted this.  He's ashamed of his back hair.

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March 5, 2010

A Year

A year ago (tomorrow) (but on a Friday like today), Troubletron and I were boarding a plane to Las Vegas so that my mother could meet my fiance. 

It was Troubletron's first trip to Las Vegas, and I'd wager it will be his most memorable.

On the Saturday night of the trip, we stood before Reverend Betty (aka, The Crypt Keeper) at the Chapel of the Bells, who was kind enough to marry us (instead of sucking out our souls), as Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" played softly in the background, almost making me laugh out loud, during the service.

On Sunday (2 days from now), Troubletron and I will have been married for one year.  We will listen to our complimentary cassette tape audio recording of the event (anyone have a tape player?), and will remember the ridiculousness of that night.

Despite our parents' anger, despite the fact that we got exactly 12 wedding presents total (none of which came from our parents), and despite everyone's comments that we had made a huge mistake, we wouldn't have had our wedding any other way.
Post-posting addition:

Many of you have mentioned that you were planning to send/give gifts at the party we were planning to have to commemorate our wedding (that we had hoped to have on our first anniversary).  Unfortunately, my unemployment has lasted too long for us to be able to afford to throw a party worth anyone flying in for.  It seems no such event will take place.

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