January 15, 2010

Redneck Rob Quotes of the Day (A Collection)

Troubletron works in an industry that tends to attract workers from . . . well . . . a less than sophisticated pool of applicants. One of his coworkers, in particular, seems to be of the redneck persuasion. We call him, for ease of conversation, Redneck Rob.

Each day, Redneck Rob makes priceless comments that Troubletron is actually required to respond to as if they were normal statements that might come up in a normal conversation. Troubletron usually texts me these gems intermittently throughout the day. Here are a few of my favorites:


"Obama is makin' it so bad. I want to move to Australia . . . just live on the equator for a while."


"You know how to put up drywall? I got to put up drywall in my brother's trailer tonight."


"Whachu doin' tonight? I gotta go to Wal-mart. Need more hair ties."


"We have two water pumps ALLIGATED at another store." (allocated)


(In response to coworker suggesting all present company go spend a night or two at a customer's lake house)  "Yeah!  We should all go!  I'll bring my cross-bow!"


Now, if Wal-mart would just alligate him a crossbow, Redneck Rob could move his trailer to the equatorial section of Australia and live happily ever after.

5 Robot Reactions:

Side of Jeffrey said...

He should talk to Devin who actually WORKS at a Walmart. They could write a book.

Sparklebot said...

Whoa! Devin works at Wal-mart!? I'm so proud! Grad school pays off. I'm tellin' you. He is living proof :)

Ellen said...

Wow. Just wow. That is more than awesome.
That made me think of Rush's comment about the Haiti earthquake falling right into Obama's hands. As if the fault lines had an obvious liberal bias.

Jillian said...

Which direction do you think the water would turn if he flushed the toilet, in the trailor, once he moved to the equatorial region of Australia?

R. Siren said...

I don't think I actually read any of the text in that entry, because I just couldn't get past that picture...