January 8, 2010

Unemployment Update

I get many requests each day from friends, family, and strangers about how my job search is going.  I'll just state for the record that it's going terribly.  Really, truly badly.

"Any good leads?" he asks.

"No," I answer, slightly annoyed that they are making me admit it.  "None."

"I was looking at [somewhere ridiculous] the other day and saw 6 jobs for lawyers posted.  I'll send you the link."  This person then sends me a link to a job for LEAD corporate counsel at a Fortune 500 company.  Or, for a SENIOR associate at a major firm.  Or for a job in SOME OTHER JURISDICTION that I am not licensed in.

So, to answer all of your questions, no.  There are no "good leads."  There are no "prospects."  I do NOT qualify for any job that has "senior" or "lead" or "head" in the title.  I need a job that says "entry level."  I apply for jobs EVERY DAY.  I send out application after application.  I spend hours tweeking my resume to fit a certain job announcement and writing an appropriate cover letter, never to reap any benefit from my labor.

I would feel worse about my situation if I didn't have 20 or so friends in the same slowly-sinking boat.  I really am feeling ok about it--in a mildly depressed kind of way.

Recently, however, a new study by the ABA (American Bar Association) found its way into my email inbox with a glimmer of hope.  It turns out that there ARE two uniting characteristics among the legal unemployed: gender and race!

That's right!  Highest on firm lay-off lists: women and men of races other than white.  Lowest on the hiring ranks: women and men of races other than white.

I don't know why this came as a surprise to me.  Who are old, white male partners going to keep on during a recession?  Young versions of themselves.

I'm already white, so now all I need to do is get a penis! (Yeah, because trans-sexuals are always treated fairly in the area of employment).

Alright.  I'm talking sarcastically back to myself.  Which means I'm done.

For the record, I would LOVE any LEGITIMATE job leads you send me.  But, if the posting is for an attorney with 6-15 years of corporate tax law experience, I'm probably not going to talk to you for a few days.

7 Robot Reactions:

Trouble Tron said...

I heard there may be an opening in the O.O.K.I.R. (OFFICE OF KEEPING IT REAL). I think you are a prime candidate for that. Also for worlds best wife!

Anonymous said...

Have you tried reformatting the layout of your resume? A fresh design and a new font may set you apart from a sea of applicants. It is their first impression of you. Maybe consult a designer friend?

Beth said...

Tell you what, if I move to DC and start a law firm I'll totally hire you. But I can't guarantee the pay will be very good.

Shackles2Garlands said...

What jurisdiction can you work in? I apologize if it's a silly question, but I am not familiar with the rules on this. I browse jobs all the time (even though I'm hoping the job I'm temping at now works out), and usually compare what I would make in other cities (I'm an Accountant, I enjoy these sort of things, like creating budgets and planning retirement). I come across many jobs. Undoubtedly you probably would have seen them already, but I'd still be happy to pass some to you. I know the feeling of where you are at.

Sparklebot said...

Shackles: I am only licensed in Virginia. I am in the process of waiving into DC. But as of right now, I can ONLY practice law in Virginia.

Shackles2Garlands said...

Gotcha :- ) Yes, that was where I wasn't sure on.

Poor Little Critter on the Road said...

Check out tonight's episode of the Colbert Report. There was a segment about a new drug that allows women to grow penises. No, seriously.